Wednesday night i was making the famous Pioneer Woman mac n cheese for a ladies dinner (early Thanksgiving... brilliant). I was home alone, cooking this somewhat labor intensive dish (never...stop...whisking...) so i decided i needed some good cooking music. After going through a couple of records (just side A) i decided to spend some time with my old friend, Les Mis.
are you familiar with the story of Les Mis? It's ok if you aren't. I mean, i am totally judging you, but go here and be educated. When I was about 15-16 I fell in love with the musical. I got the 10th anniversary concert cd for Christmas, with the original London cast (they are the best cast) and wore that thing out.
I had not listened in YEARS, so I was surprised that I still knew the words as I was whisking the egg slowly into the milk.
Then, not really paying attention, I realized I was crying. Not like the kind of crying where you feel it all over, but the kind where tears are coming from nowhere.
Why? Because "Little Fall of Rain" was playing. And Lea Salonga (Eponine) was KILLING it.
if you don't know the song... watch this (keep in mind, this is from the concert... and this was done back when feathered hair was still cute.) BACKSTORY for those of you who refused to read the wiki link: Eponine is in love with Marius. He is oblivious and loves the sweet Cozette, but adore his ol' pal "Ponine" as he lovingly calls her. Eponine understands that she will never be with Marius. During a battle, she takes a bullet for him. At that moment, it clicks with him, and he gets that she was in love with him. This is the song they sing as she is dying... yes, DYING in his arms
I forgot how amazing it is. I forgot how heartbreaking it is when she doesn't sing the last word of the song.
the thing is... I'm not just being swept away in the theatrics of an amazing play. Every girl who has ever been single can relate to Eponine. It's true. Earlier in the show she sings "On my own", where she is walking through the streets of Paris delivering a message from Marius to Cozette (salt on the wound) and she sings about pretending he is with her. How at night, the streets are less lonely because it is the only time she can pretend they are together.
That is the anthem for every girl who has even suffered from unrequited love. (that and "I'm not that girl" from wicked... but her ending is much happier)
Anyway, the killer part of "Little Fall of Rain" is that Eponine is finally happy. She is in the arms of the man she loves. He is begging her not to die, singing sweet words to her. She brings up the metaphor of the rain, though it is gloomy, it will make the flowers grow.
Oh, also... there is a 25th anniversary edition... where the darling Nick Jonas... yes, of the Jonas Brothers, sings Marius' part. Presh.
So as I made this amazing cheesy carb filled dish, tears running down my face, flashing back to being 18 and convinced that I was in love with a boy who i would marry if only he loved me (girl... pleeze. PTL that didn't happen) I was grateful that I wasn't running through the streets of Paris in the 1830's, dodging bullets.
And that is the moral of the story. Don't invent a time machine and send me back to the Paris Uprising.
no, it made me grateful for where the Lord has brought my heart. I don't roll around sobbing on the floor like i did before when hearing these songs (j/k. i never did that. j/k i did.)
Eponine felt hopeless. I don't.
Eponine had nothing else to live for. I do.
Eponine had a lot of dirt on her face and a really gross raisin colored lipstick. I don't.
"Bless me with Abraham's faith that stagger not at promises through unbelief. May I not instruct thee in my troubles, but glorify thee in my trails; Grant me a distinct advance in the divine life; May I reach a higher platform, leave the mists of doubt and fear in the valley, and climb to hill-tops of eternal security in Christ by simply believing he cannot lie, or turn from his purpose. Give me the confidence I ought to have in him who is worthy to be praised and who is blessed for evermore." from Valley of Vision
(PS- the mac and cheese was gone so fast. so... you are welcome for the extra salty-ness from my tears ladies)