Thursday, April 10, 2014

april 10

Psalms 34:18
the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit.

Today has whole new meaning and glory.
April 10 was always just a day. Nothing special.
Today it is the day that Bobby Remsnyder was born. And also the day his parents had to say goodbye to him.
My dear and brave friends found out this past Monday that their baby had no heartbeat.
This was their 3rd child
Their first son
A child that had been hoped for, prayed for, and rejoiced over.
The night we found out that he was a boy was one of the most joyful. I live 400 miles away, so I was FaceTimed in.
I saw the shock on his mom's face.
My friend who was holding the phone whipped it around to show his dad. It was the most surprised of faces. It was beautiful.
I started texting jokes to his mom, that I'd be sending plenty of StarWars themed gifts. (she hates it)
I told his dad that we had another little skater.
It was the happiest of weeks.
But at 20 weeks we found out their little boy was with Jesus.
This morning he was born. He's tiny. He's beautiful.

Our friends have had constant flows of texts, phone calls, verses being sent back and forth. We are playing the same album on repeat. It's something none of us ever thought we'd have to walk through. This is something that happens to friends-of-friends. It's something you pray about for someone else.
Our community, though currently spread out all over the continent, is stronger. Bound with love for this sweet family and trust in our heavenly father.

Today when the news came of Bobby's birth, I left work. I got in the car and drove. I listened to this song on repeat

I prayed. I got my favorite coffee and became furious when I heard other people in the shop tell stories of hook-ups, horrible friends. Didn't they know? Didn't they understand that 2 parents were savoring moments with their baby boy who isn't breathing? Holding a baby that they love but is already gone? How dare they.
I got back in the car and drove to my favorite park. I took the scenic route, windows down. It was the most gorgeous day. April 10 is beautiful. As i prayed and sang it all came down. This was real life. God is good in the midst of this. He loves us. So dearly.
I sat on a table at Freedom Park, on the little island. It's next to the water, below a weeping willow. I knew it was cliche but didn't care. I continued to play the song on repeat, praying for my friends, crying, talking to the Lord, asking for comfort for the 2 strongest people i know.

Have you ever noticed in those moments how aware you are of your surroundings? It's like a super power kicks in. I can't explain it. Your senses kick into overdrive. I could hear all the birds, the water lapping. I felt like i could hear all of the leaves on that tree as the breeze blew the branches. After an hour I left. As I walked away I saw things I never noticed. There were turtles EVERYWHERE. They were perched on rocks, soaking in the sun. There was a huge beautiful snake that crossed the path in front of me. I saw lizards everywhere. They all caught my eye. It was Bobby's day. Creation was glorifying it's maker. They were rejoicing over this dear boy's life. That was all I could think. They all knew.

The moment before I got up, I forgot to repeat the song...this next one that I tend to overlook came on.
The end says:

Our eyes be lifted up.
Our great eternal hope arise
The great design drawn out for me

In our silence heaven whispered out
In our darkness glory pierced the night
we were broken but now we're lifted up
King of heaven God is here with us
Angels crying aloud
Singing holy
All the praises resound
God with us

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