Monday, April 30, 2012

first, i found another giveaway that would be good for mommas over at bluebird

second, guess what it's almost time for?

I cannot wait. i drive by her house almost every day, peepin' to see whats going on.


one of my new favorite sites:


that is all right now.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

mrs gavin rossdale

my rdio playlist history (i'm done with spotify...) has been somewhat embarrassing these past 2 weeks. And the problem is, i am "followed" by some friends who's music taste i really respect and i desperately want to impress them. not happening.

I've been in a early-mid 90's alt rock kick. going back to the music of my middle school/early high school days.
i forgot how much i loved some of this music. Music changed SO much then. Grunge totally changed the face of rock. Grown-ups didn't get it. Honestly, i didn't either, but I loved it. Kurt Cobain scared the crap out of me, but i loved him. He was the first young celebrity that I knew of  that died. It was a lot of my pre-teen, early teen mind to take. But I loved him.
Listening to all this music is bringing back memories of wearing combat boots, overalls with boxer shorts (i don't know why girls wore boxers. we still had underwear on underneath) tiny backpacks, everyone wearing CKOne (if you couldn't afford it, you'd get the $1 version at the drug store) scrunchies on our wrist, even if you weren't going to wear your hair up, flannel shirts (over your overalls, like a weird jacket), cassingles of your favorite song...
man, the early 90's were awesome.

so this week, here is who i've been getting nostalgic with

first off, and most importantly, Bush. This is still one of my favorite songs. It still gives me butterflies (i don't know why. That is a lie. I do. I love Gavin Rossdale. I wanted to marry him. He's write songs about me. Their songs aren't really that...poetic. But i didn't care. I LOVED them. I LOVED him. I hated Gwen Stafani when they started dating, even though I loved her band. To this day, I still think he is gorgeous I'd still marry him. I don't care what you say.) I had a picture of him hidden in my room so mom wouldn't find it, along with a copy of Sixteen Stone.
moving on
Nirvana, , No Doubt (darn you GWEN! You were so awesome, but married my man!), 2pac, TLC, Gin Blossoms, Boyz II Men, Ace of Base

so, enjoy those tunes. if you weren't old enough to enjoy those jamz when they first came out, well, enjoy now.
Maybe I'll do a mid-late 90's post (hello Alanis Morissette! And Foo Fighters) soon. Yes. I think i shall.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

sleeping alone

*i totally posted the wrong link. same blog. how did i find out? when lore herself emailed me. mortified! click the link now

people often try to comformt me in my singleness, which is incredibly sweet and encouraging. they tell me stories of similar scenarios, hoping those will bring encouragement. sometimes they do. sometimes they really don't.
they sometimes try to assume how i am feeling, or what the Lord is doing. Sometimes they rebuke me out of the blue, in a moment when i am most content and joyful in the Lord, just because they assume I am not content. They tell me "your turn is coming soon"when they really have no idea if that is true or not.

sometimes, all I need is "this sucks. But God is good". sometimes, i need people to stop seeing my marital status as what defines me. it isn't.

A few weeks ago a co-worker read this and was reminded of a conversation he and I had. he was married young. he isn't the guy that you would excpect to "get it". but he totally did.
He sent me this blog post, and it best explained how I feel on almost a daily basis. it's not a lack of contentment. It's more than that.


i wish i could do giveaways. for all 3 of you that read. your chances to win would be incredible.
i once joked with a friend that i would do a giveaway...and it would end up being something in my pantry. you won a can of vegetable stock!

BUT, there is something i can do! I will (on a somewhat regular basis) post links to other blogs that i know of that are having giveaways! So all you have to do is come here, click a link and try to win!
Now, this is going to hinder my chances of winning, but i am sure we can work out a nice little deal if you do win something...right? RIGHT????

right now i am aware of these giveaways:

shoes from smile and wave

vintage bag, necklace and gift card over at Beautiful Mess  (closes 4/26)

petunia diaper bag from bleubird

thats it right now. hurry up and enter. I don't know how long the bleubird one is open...

good luck!

Friday, April 20, 2012

i got 99 problems

i won't finish Jay-Z's thought.
that song was in my head all week. It has nothing to do with anything. It was just in my head.
it's been a crazy 2 weeks.
first off... my favorite west coast rapper came back to life.

tupac hologram at coachella
 i wish. well, that is a whole 'nother post. maybe one day i will tell you all of my theory on East Coast/ West coast gangster rap, my love of West Coast rap, and specifically my thoughts on Tupac (he is my santa claus guys.) To sum it up, I believe Tupac is alive.

but for real, this made my day. I watched the holgram Tupac performance like 10 times. if you don't know what i am talking about, google "tupac hologram"

anyway, i ended last week with being pretend mom to the 3 lechner girls. it was a blast! they were nuts and crazy and fun.

abi snuck into bed with me the first morning

discovery place
jelyl fish
big girls on bikes

sweet/crazy mermaids
I just realized you can't see their faces in any of these pictures. hah. not intentional. i am not one of those crazy privacy people.

On Saturday I went to a co-workers wedding... sweet Heather. Her husband is in a local  band here that has gotten kind of big in the indy chrisitan music scene. So lots of band people there.

Heather and Josiah
"sorry, i gotta take this"
Her wedding decor was very eclectic. Lots of thrift finds. Our table had a phone. I got lots of important calls when i didn't want to talk to the co-workers at my table.

Sunday i planned on doing nothing, then my friend Sarah called, let me know she was down the street, and we ended up driving through my neighborhood with her boys, looking for potential places they could move into. Being neighbors would be the best ever.
Caspian and Leif winking at me
What else... oh! On Monday I was asked if I wanted to help out in our cafe at work from time to time. Our lovely barista is usually alone in there and it gets crazy. So she is teaching me how to make different drinks. It has been a secret wish of mine to know how to make lattes. I am pretty boss at it. Except i'm always burning my fingers. like whoa.
me panicking trying to make Ashley's drink as she took a picture of me making her drink

my perfect 23 second shots

not from burning my fingers making espresso, but still real. my unicorn band-aids claim to be make with real unicorn tears for extra healing power.

today i had to send an email to my department about something and for some reason felt led to include this picture

so of course i want to watch it now. right now. so bad. i can't. so i am mentally playing out the movie in my head. not working. so i will watch this over and over because it is my favorite scene.

true story, i used to have a huge crush on Jason Schwartzman
He is an actor and musician. I love his band and all his movies. but that isn't why i had a crush on him.
I had a crush on him because his mother is Talia Shire. Do you know who Talia Shire is?

that's right. Adrian Balboa. So, i thought "if i could somehow marry Jason, I'd be Talia's daughter-in-law. I could forever pretend i was Adrian Balboa's daughter-in-law. Thus, I could also pretend to be Rocky Balboa's daughter-in-law. WHAT?

guys. SERIOUSLY. dream come true.
Sly, Talia and Sly's real life wife (whatever... who care. Talia is forever his wife in my mind)

the sad thing about that i was very much an adult when i had this thought. like, just a few years ago.
And i still think about it. I wouldn't even take his legal last name. No Kendra Schwartzman. I would insist on it being Shire. Or Balboa. HOLY CRAP WHAT IF MY LAST NAME WAS BALBOA!!!!
ok. i'm done. sorry. i had no intention for this to be a rocky post. it just happens some times.
But i'm done. i promise.

just kidding. one more.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

mini van

starting tonight i am watching my 3 favorite little crazies. i will be a single mom of 3. driving a mini van. baller.

also we are 90% sure we saw one of my favorite Carolina Panther's today...Jeremy Shockey! (PS- they are all "one of my favorites".)

lastly, here has been what my week has looked like

Saturday was sweet Phoenix's birthday party! here she is with her dad Eric. Phoenix is one huge answered prayer. we call her the promise baby

lil' Aiden. He turned a month old earlier this week. He is my favorite person

if you haven't seen these yet, maybe you should follow me on instagram (ksands). i request a picture to my friend Dan, and then he draws it. Today i asked for a snake that was sad he couldn't wear shoes

another baby! My awesome friends Ray and Krystal had their little Emma this morning.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

long walks on the beach

recently a friend asked me if i had ever considered signing up for an online dating site.
to be honest, i haven't. not that i am against them in any way. they are awesome. just right now, i don't feel that is what i need to be doing. the Lord made that clear.

but then i started thinking about it more, and realized there is another answer:
my profile would be absurd. like, so pathetic.

if i were really REALLY honest on it (and i wouldn't be), this would be my answer to the typical question "what are your interests/hobbies":
sleeping in
wearing pj's all day long
not washing my hair
listening to the same song over and over as i sing it loudly (and badly)
lurking around the baby clothes section of Target
movies about organized crime set in Boston
not cleaning
checking the length of my hair every few hours to see if it looks longer
owning more records than you
imagining that i am a guest on a talk show when i am alone in the car (mainly Conan or either of the Jimmys)
painting my nails
chipping off the paint i just put on my nails
making sure i have more followers on instagram/pinterest than i have people i am following
making pancakes
eating those pancakes
looking at pictures of friend's babies
showing you pictures of friend's babies
arguing about the music i like
judging you for the music you like
keeping my laptop in bed with me
imagining i am in a movie
drinking beer with breakfast on special occasions (saturday)
still wearing pj's
mascara, multi-colored office supplies (post-it's, sharpies, paperclips)
eating black olives straight from a can
reading InStyle magazine
imagining how i would answer the questions on the last page of InStyle magazine
Law and Order
keeping a running tally of how many personal days i have left, debating if i can call in sick or not
napping on sunday
pretending i hate pink and sparkly things (but really liking them)
keeping birthday cards and crying when i re-read them
comparing all life situations to the show Friends.
yup. i'm a catch.

Friday, April 6, 2012

good friday

juror #8

i had jury duty for the first time ever last week.
from the stories i had heard, i would go and sit in a room for 8 hours and leave
i might have to go into a court room, but based on my job, i wouldn't be selected.
so last monday i reported at 8 am. i filled out my paperwork. my sweet roommate let me bring her ipad to keep me entertained. at 10 am my name was called.
i went into the court room. they selected 12 names. i was set.
then, juror #10 was dismissed. they called another name. not mine. phew.
then juror #8 was dismissed.
"Kendra Sands"
the Assistant District Attorney questioned me, and just me (everyone else had their turn). once he was done, he turned to the Judge "The state is satisfied Your Honor". BALLS
then the defense attorney asked us all questions. He had a long list of dismissals "defense would like to thank but excuse jurors #3....#6... (yesss...say 8....) #7...(come on....) and # 12."

i was now officially on the jury.
and it wasn't a tiny hit and run type thing. 7 charges against this guy. his ankles shackled.

this started what i would find out later would be a long, stressful week. I couldn't talk about the case with anyone, including other jurors. I saw disturbing pictures, heard graphic details. I saw a witness shaking violently on the stand. i sat near a very loud mouth breathers. All very traumatizing.
I had trouble sleeping at night, lying awake wondering who was lying (pretty much everone) who was telling the truth... what is the real story? and it wasn't even the defense against the victim. Nope, the State was charging him. The victim only testified, but had nothing else to do with the case, minus his name being used. This wasn't a typical cut-and-dry thing. It was really hard.
We ended up deliberating for hours. the 2 versions of the story we were given were SO different. it was really hard for us to know what really had happened.
the whole time we were in or room, they had to wait in the court room. they did NOT expect it to take that long. but we stayed late, voting over and over on each charge, only initially being in agreement on one of the 7 (the lowest charge). I went into the bathroom and cried. We were never getting out of there. Most of the time it was 11 against 1. And the 1...he was stubborn. I honestly prayed for most of my lunch break that the Lord would bring unity, and reveal either to us 11, or to the 1 what the truth was.
we finally reached our verdict at like 6pm (normally court lets out at 5). The 1 decided that he trusted us. If we were all so confident in our votes, he would trust that we had noticed or heard things he hadn't picked up on. it was amazing.
afterwards, the judge came in and told us we did a great job, that our case was very hard, and we did exactly what he would've done. it was so reassuring.

We all agreed that we walked away feeling we had done the right thing. But knowing we locked a man away... that when he got out of prison his little girl would be a grown woman... that was hard.
And the funny thing was... all this week, I kinda missed it. not the case itself, but just the entire experience. i can't really explain it.  maybe it was the total change of pace. Or the somewhat attractive detective that sat in for 3 days (though he only had to be there for 1... hmmm)

that's my story.
(PS- there were a few objections. those were the highlight of the entire week for me. Especially when the judge said "overruled!".i don't know why, but i like when he overrules them. )