Tuesday, May 29, 2012

is it summer yet?

When is it officially summer?
because I am pretty sure that Saturday's 90 degrees means it is summer.
My legs sticking to the leather seats of the red VW beetle convertible i've been driving around.

Oh that? yea. the car i am borrowing is pretty awesome and adorable. I normally fight convertibles. I think that I hate them, but then after like 30 minutes I give in and put the top down.
After this weekend, my arms and shoulders are already much darker. But my legs are still ghastly white. It's almost offensive how white they are.

Since it's pretend summer time (seriously...when does summer start???) i thought i'd post some amazing summery songs for you to enjoy. and you must listen to them. Don't just hit the "next" button on your bloglovin' now. Listen to these songs.  2 newer songs and 2 older songs.Pretend you are at the pool as you listen. Maybe with a can of whatever you like to drink from a can.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

fun weekend/mean week

i miss my friends.
i went to md/dc/va this weekend to visit some friends that i rarely see. seriously, i hadn't seen a few of them in a couple of years. PTL for social networking and text messages!
we had a blast. i mean, so much fun...i really love these people
the initial purpose of the trip was to see my sweet friend Aly who was visiting for the distant, mysterious land of Canada. But i squeezed in as much time with everyone else as possible (that mainly involved me lounging on a couch or chair holding Seth and Janet's baby Edith, or eating food with people.)
first night was dinner with the Remsnyders, Matt and 2/3 of the Kless family; Becca & Behr. The Kless family was so sweet to open their home to me, though i barely saw them!
here are pictures!
i taught Audrey to wink

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


as a single woman, i don't really struggle with Valentines Day.
a little, but just day of, during the hype. not overall

But Mother's Day, that's a different story.

I long to be a momma. So much.
It's the idea of never having kids that breaks my heart more than anything. That is what I mainly have to bring before the Lord on a far-too-regular basis.

joanna and toby

Right now, I have all of my friends kids to help fill that void.
They are hilarious and sweet and crazy and fun.
They call me Aunt Kenni, and get mad at me on Sunday's when they are cranky and I demand hugs
They give me sloppy kisses, color pictures that are all over my cubicle wall at work
They punch me in the boob when I am staying overnight and trying to give them cough medicine at 11pm
They invite me to their birthday parties
bob, sara and jakob dylan

They throw tantrums for me, try to tell me they ARE allowed to drink my coffee at church and run away from me when i try to take them to Sunday school
They spit up all over me, including in my hair.
They cry for 2 hours straight when I am their first babysitter ever

They think I am actually family
I am overwhelmed by the joy of having these crazies in my life

i look forward to celebrating mother's day at some point.
until then, i'll happily play aunt to these nuggets.

shirley mcclaine

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


when i was planning my 16th birthday party, i invited a girl i didn't know very well. at the time, i probably couldn't tell you why. now i know why.
she was younger than me. adorable. super sweet. pretty shy.
she gave me a card that night. it was a note card. on the front was a picture of an angel (looked like something you would see made out of wood in some one's country kitchen). on the inside of the blank note card she wrote:

I hope your birthday is great.
-Anne Connolly

She became my best friend.
we had many adventures that got us there
New friends, comfortable friends, best friends, naughty friends, broken up friends, distant friends, not quite as distant friends, re-acquainted friends, adjusting friends, and then today...
today she is once again one of my best friends.

Anne and I had big plans. Huge plans. We were going to get married around the same time. Be pregnant around the same time (her with twin boys. Me with my first boy)
We were going to be neighbors and our kids play in the back yard.
At one point in our plan, before all the weddings and babies, i was going to move away for a while.
The boys in the pictures changed a bit. I think at one point i imagined us in Hawaii together. California was in the plan too.

The Lord changed our plans a lot. A lot-a lot.
our lives don't look the way we expected. We didn't get to walk through things in unison. But we did get to walk through them together.

Anne married the boy who had loved her since he was 16.
Anne had a girl first. A beautiful, hilarious, sweet girl.
Anne had a boy next. a perfect, chubby, precious boy.
Anne and David have walked through trials with Kate's health
Things haven't been as pretty as we had both hoped. They have been better though. So much better.

The days of dreaming of our neighboring houses in Hawaii are a distant foggy memory.
Today is more lovely and vivid.

true story about Anne. I told her when i was ready for her to be pregnant again (because it was totally up to me...)
I told her i wanted her to give me a nephew for my birthday. First off, this was March. My birthday was September. Second... all of our friends were having girls. all of them.
a multiple weeks later she called me. It was later at night than her usual calls. I answered, and Anne was singing "happy birthday". I was confused. She isn't stupid. She knew it wasn't.... HOLY CRAP she was pregnant again. I screamed. "aren't i a good friend?" she said.
a few months later she went in for her ultra sound.
She called me later that morning "i want you to always remember what a good friend i was to you. You asked for a nephew for your birthday. I am giving you one"... well, my birthday plus a few months. But Sam Malament was the best belated birthday present any friend had ever given me.

I love you Anne Malament. More than you'll ever know.
Happy birthday.
I am so glad you were born!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012

may the 4th be with you

tonight i am going to have a slurpee.
they are finally opening 7eleven's in charlotte. that means slurpees.

when i was a kid in San Diego, we'd rollerblade to 7 eleven, get slurpees (they's let us in on our skates. it was awesome) and then skate to the new highschool that was being built and play there. if you've never seen one, southern CA schools don't have hallways. you open your classroom door, your outside. So the "hallways" and lockers are all outdoors. Makes for pretty awesome skating. And I was pretty boss on those skates. While sippin' my slurpee. Life was good.

Do you watch arrested development? i try to go back and re-watch all 3 seasons from time to time, though in my opinion, season 2 is the best. It has all of my favorite clips.

anyway, here are a few favorite's i've been re-watching or quoting non-stop

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

it's gonna be May

today is the first of may.

i've discovered Frank Fairfield this morning, and have been listening to him all day.
in fact, today at lunch i drove my friend dan to pick some food up, and we had Frank playing as we drove on this warm, but breezy day. the combination of driving through the middle of nowhere SC and Frank was pretty spot on.

today felt different when i woke up. last night i felt the Lord released me from something. not really something i had been asking to be released from (though i did give some "oh hey...yea...take this from me if it's your will" prayers, all the while, being prepared to dig my nails in it the second He reached for it.). But last night, as a whirlpool of random thoughts were going through my head, and i was kind of shooting them up to the Lord (thankfully, he can translate the jumbles that i think up). i back tracked a bit. i went through every step of this thing and how it got me to where i am today. nothing bad. just something i was a bit confused by. when i finally got to what felt like final piece to the mind jumble puzzle, when i had asked my last "why?"...i felt as if i was in a car that just hit the breaks and came to a dead stop. Boom. Done. Released.
I don't know why it took that process to get there. But i felt grace all over it. And i feel at peace about it.
I didn't really want to be released, so there is a bit of mourning that comes with it. but there is also freedom and joy. and it might just be a temporary removal. maybe just a season. but it is good

I've been quoting a line from one of my favorite hymns a lot these past few months... to myself, to others.
it says

Strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow

that is what i have right now. things seem to look a bit different now. i feel a bit lost (not in a bad way... but like when you are in a new city and it's taking a minute to get your bearings). but i'm excited. it might just be for a month before it comes back... for a few days. maybe tomorrow i will feel differently. but for today, i don't mind getting used to this feeling.

my roommate posted this verse this morning:
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
(Psalm 13:5-6 ESV)