Monday, July 30, 2012

his majesty at the olympics

one of my co-worker friends has been taking online classes at Liberty University.
she is working on a project about King David (she explained it to me, but i was not paying any attention), and needed to find some picture for her project of King David. She was looking through old paintings, even the sculpture of him.
I told her i had the perfect picture, and promptly emailed her this

yikes. am i right ladies? that man was made for suits. i have a feeling that you can put him in any suit, no matter how big or small, what fabric, color or matter if it's the ugliest suit in the world, and it will perfectly fit him and look amazing. geeeeeez. i watched that clip on repeat. he was all "oh hey guyz. Yea. I'm David Beckham. Yea, I am wearing the sh*t out of this suit. Yea, i'm not only on a boat, i am driving the hell out of it. yeah. there are fireworks going off behind me. Whatever. NBD."

anyway, i had a funny thought. what if you re-read the story of King David, and pictured it being David Beckham. That would be hilarious. but always in a suit. always.
Like, King David dancing in front of the Ark of the an armani suit...

know who else looks good in suit?

joseph gordon-levitt.

Friday, July 27, 2012

because we have to

this made my heart burst with joy

Ryan Kalil of the Panthers purchased a full page ad in the Observer. This is what it said:

Monday, July 23, 2012


i've dropped the ball on this. and i apologize.

here are some current giveaways on other blogs you can enter. some are really really awesome!

amazing light giveaway at bleubird

a photography course on beautiful mess (ends on 7/24, so hurry!)

a whole lot of goodies on this one, at tiny twig

Friday, July 20, 2012

these guys...

going to see Batman soon. not yet. but soon. In the mean time, i will be looking at this a lot.

Monday, July 16, 2012

fix warped records

As you have learned, I love buying/collecting/listening to records.
Sometimes I'll find really cheap records at thrift stores. It can be a risk, since often they are in not-so-hot shape. So sometimes you get home and find that they are really warped. That is what happened to my Madonna True Blue album that I bought for $1
Recently I bought 2 great albums, but left them in the car on accident for 2 days. The 100 + degree heat warped them to the max. I put them on the record player and the needle jumped off them at one point like so bad, it looks like a car from a movie high-speed car chase in San Francisco. whoops.

Since these were all records that I really wanted, I was pretty devastated. From what I had heard from others, a warped record is pretty much done-zo.
But I didn't accept that fate. I looked online, talked to the owner of one record store, emailed a so called "expert" and they all pretty much said the same thing...there IS a way you can TRY to fix them. Done and done. I was on this.

This process sounds pretty easy. And it is! It just takes some time, and you have to keep an eye on things. And it's best done in the summer heat. I did these early in the afternoon, so I was able to work on my tan while taking care of it.
Also, I did a test run. I bought the same Madonna album somewhere else, so it wouldn't be the end of the world if the fix didn't work to that one. (and i ended up destroying it in the process...more on that later)

Here is what you need:
-2 cleans sheets of glass (bigger than the record)
-something to evenly distribute weight (i used a pot of water, but you can use a can of paint, or anything else that is close to the size of the record)
-heat (i used the sun. it's pretty fool-proof)

I got the sheets of glass from my step-dad. They were pretty dirty, and since I didn't want to scratch my records, I went ahead and washed them...with pantene. our dish soap went missing for about 3 hours yesterday, them magically re-appeared. so i found a travel bottle of pantene and used the hose outside. my records smell lovely.


the patients
 ok, so once everything was ready to go, I sandwiched my 1st record (do them 1 at a time! Otherwise it won't work) between the 2 pieces of glass and set it in the sun on concrete. Putting them in the grass, or a towel or anything that isn't totally flat won't work.
Let it sit there for about 5 minutes, heating up. Then, I put the big pot of water on top, to help flatten it

After about 10 minutes, i flipped it and repeated the process. If the record is in really bad shape, I'd move the pot around to the different problem areas. And leave it out longer. After at least 10 minutes on both sides, take off the pot and check it (still sandwiched between the glass. It is still really soft at this point). If it looks done, move on to the next one. If not, leave it out a bit longer.
Easiest way to tell if it is done: If the glass looks evenly sandwiched. If it is higher on one side, then the record is still warped.

Important note here:

don't leave any of the records just sitting in the sun before or after the process without the glass. I did that to my Madonna one, after all the work of fixing it. Before my (and my roommate...she was a witness) very eyes, it warped so bad it looked like waves. It was melting right there.
So after you finish each one, rush them inside (or leave them in the glass as you take them in), put them in the sleeve, and put something heavy on them to help them keep the shape as they cool. I actually just put mine on the shelf with the others, because they are crammed in there pretty tight, and that is going to help keep it flat.

Once they are totally cooled, go ahead and try them out on the record player. Mine were so much better. Not quite 100%, but much better than they were before. They didn't warble like most warped records do. You could still see they weren't totally flat, but they did great.

If the record isn't quite there yet, try again, maybe leaving them outside a little longer, or putting a larger, heavier object on top of the glass. I even stepped on it a few times, just to help out.

Also...just a warning: if you have a bad record, there is a moment that might be slightly terrifying. You need to brace yourself...
For the first record, i put the pot on right away for the first one, instead of letting it heat up first.  A few minutes in...when the record was hot enough that it started to get soft, I heard a loud cracking noise. I thought the glass or the record had broken. Nope. Pretty much, that is the sound of the record flattening really fast. really really fast and the 2 sheets of glass bumping each other. So it meant it was working, but it was pretty scary at first.

Anyway, I am going to work on perfecting the process. But at this point, i rescued 2 records and might make the 3rd a bowl (also easy to do)
In the meantime, I hope this helps!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

3 things

3, totally unrelated things

1) today i've been listening to classical music all morning. my mom used to play it all the time when i was younger, and i didn't listen to it at all in my 20s... i think as a rebellion from hearing it so much prior. but today, it makes my heart happy

2) there is a fire station at the end of my street. sometimes they are called out late at night, and drive by our house. normally, they wait to turn on the sirens when they reach the stop sign and pull out on the main road (which is only 3 houses down from us...) but on a rare occasion they come flying down the street with the sirens wailing. at 3am. i used to get really annoyed. i would sit up in a huff, thinking "that is SO rude. one morning i am going to go down there and complain..." FOR WHAT? That they are racing to SAVE SOME ONE'S LIFE!??!!? And as a result, i might miss out on 5 minutes of SLEEP?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I then realize i am a horrible person and go back to bed.

3) last night i was in my car, on the way to a friends house, and one of my favorite Ryan Adams songs came on. I had my windows up, and sang along. But not just a little. I sang along all of the way. Like, I was picturing myself sitting on a stool at the Visulite Theater, sitting next to Ryan. Here is the thing...Ryan doesn't come to Charlotte. Ever. But I have a scenario totally worked out in my head (i think about this often. Far more than i would like to admit) So what will happen is, I will befriend him (most likely he will come into my record store one day) we will get talking, i will give him a hard time about never playing in Charlotte, he will finally agree, but only for my friends. So i will invite all my friends to a private show, but his other condition is that i sing along with him. I will say no, because I can't sing. But he will continue to encourage me. So i'll do it. Well, after that one song, we have so much fun and it's such a hit, that he tells me to stay on the stage. And that is why i am sitting on a stool next to him.
Anyway, so there i was, stopped at the light on Park Rd and Fairview, singing along to our duet, putting my all into it (i mean, you guys were all at the show. I had to give you my everything). I am pretty sure i looked like this girl.
All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye i see movement. I ignore it, and keep dueting. The movement gets a little more intense. I finally look over and realize a co-worker, that i don't know that well is waving and signaling for me to roll down my window. I can't ignore this. I do it and she cheerfully says "Hey! I didn't know we where neighbors!" PTL she didn't mention my performance. But she saw it. All of it. The best of it. I guess I'll have to invite her to the show now.
(this is the song Ryan and I were singing)

Monday, July 9, 2012


have you heard of John Mulaney? He is hilarious.
In his stand up, he has a joke about doing nothing.
He talks about how when people ask you what you did over the weekend, and you realize you didn't do anything, your face lights up, like it was the most glorious thing.
That is how i felt about yesterday.

On Saturday i went to a baby shower, and then a wedding. Both were lovely.
The baby shower was to celebrate Joe and Jeanie's 4th baby.
Now, i see the judgement in your eyes "who has a shower for their 4th kid! Geeeez! Greedy much??" and I would be right there with you. EXCEPT, this is their first boy. Everything baby related in their house looks like it was sprayed down with pepto bismal and unicorn saliva (it's purple and pink and glittery and smells like bubble gum). This poor kid wouldn't stand a chance. So we bombarded her with green and blue. Sweet Jeanie didn't know what to do with all that stuff. It was hilarious watching her face each time she opened another plaid shirt or blue onesie. She looked so confused and perplexed.

then it was wedding time. my fake little sister for the past all-of-the-years got married. It was a train station wedding (3rd one we've been to at this awesome place) and it was a blasty-blast.
I love this venue, because it reminds me of Shining Time Station. I half expect a mini-Ringo Starr to walk up to me each time I'm there.

it got cray later in the night when we all started dancing. The outside waiting-platform-concrete-thing is normally where the dancing/drinks/food is served. It's crazy pretty, but it was hot as everything ever out there. Honestly, imagine 30+ people in a small huddle, jumping and dancing around in 90 degree heat. I have never seen so much sweat in my life. We were disgusting. I was repulsed by us all. But it was crazy fun.

anyway, after all that, I had big plans to do nothing yesterday. AAANNND it was magical.
I got home, put on comfy clothes, climbed into bed and caught up on Housewives of NJ. Then I started watching the show Louie. Then I got up and hung out with the roomies for the first time in 2 weeks and we all watched a special on Tom and Katie. Then I went to Chipotle. Then I got back in bed and read and watched Arrested Development. Then I went to sleep.
It was one of the best days of my life. That's a lie. But it was amazing.
AND it was the first night i have slept in my bed in over 2 weeks. We had to spend a lot of quality time together, since we had been apart so long. that is my excuse for lying in my bed for 5 hours straight yesterday afternoon.

Here is John Mulaney talking about doing nothing

here is another one of his bits. I just love this guy. He and I share an obsession affection for Law and Order SVU

Thursday, July 5, 2012

2nd monday

i know everyone is already whining about it, but having yesterday off has confused the crap out of me.
Tuesday felt like a Friday, which was AWESOME. But today feels like Monday. the 2nd one this week. That seems just mean. At least tomorrow is real Friday. But right now, all i can focus on is how confusing Monday/Thursday is. I have no idea what the crap is happening. I have been worthless at work.
don't get me wrong... i XOXO to the max 4th of July. It's my favorite day of the year. Mainly because of the fireworks. and last night's fireworks were totally worth it

QUESTION: why can't we have fireworks at least once a month? I don't understand this. They are magical and pretty and bring everyone together. I need to move to Disneyland where they happen DAILY.

SIDE NOTE: guys...what if i lived in Disneyland. For real, picture it. I'd totally live in Sleeping Beauty's castle. But secretly. Like Natalie Portman in that movie where she lived in Walmart. I'd live there, and then ride on Pirates of the Caribbean all night. Not the whole ride though. Just the lagoon part. Because it's romantic. I'd invite him to join me. Or him. Or maybe him. Then we would have a late dinner of churros and hot dogs on the Peter Pan ride at the part where you fly over London. Also romantic. Guys...I'm totally moving into DisneyLand. THIS COULD WORK.

Anyway, my future best friend, Beyonce, is helping me get through Monday/Thursday. I am not even mildly ashamed of how much I love her. Not just her music, but her perfect cinnamon colored face, her glorious hair, and her cherub baby and bad-a$$ husband. I just love Bey. That is what I will call her when we are BFFs. Me and Bey, sipping expensive champs on Jay's boat. Blue Ivy will call me Auntie Ki-ki (she will have trouble with "kenni") and they will de-throne Oprah as her god-mother, and I will wear that crown. Jay-Z will encourage her to buy me gifts since I am such a wonderful friend to them. He will write a song about me that will top the charts. It's going to be amazing.

she is perfection.

Monday, July 2, 2012

HBD shay

yesterday was too crazy to post this. So we are a day late.

Shaynah wore sweatpants for most of Next one year, because she was my wing-man
She is pretty crazy for Christian Bale. And we are pretty sure it's not accidental that all of the Batman movies are released near her b-day
She introduced me to diet cherry limeades from sonic, and my life has never been the same
She will stand up to people when I am too chicken, and i'll just stand behind her and nod...or cry
(ex: our flight coming home from Boston when they said i might be bumped. She refused to board the plane when they told her to, and said "you are putting her on the flight. I'm not getting on if you don't. I'm not leaving her here!!!!")
She also will speak hilariously bluntly to strangers (ex: drunk girl passed out when her flight was boarding. Shay pushed her and say "Ay better get up. Now. Get up. WAKE UP!" while everyone around us laughed)
She once crip walked out of the Shea's house after care group
She refuses to allow me live in denial about Anderson Cooper. But that is to protect my heart.
She shared Justin Timberlake with me.
She insisted on wearing a specific lip-gloss on her wedding day, because Kristie gave it to her (meanwhile, Kristie stood behind her with a quivering lip)
She came to Vegas for my 30th birthday while in her first trimester of pregnancy, rallied the entire time, and bought my drinks since she couldn't enjoy them.
She once cried at Zada Janes while encouraging me. She cried first. It was a big moment. :)
She taught me the phrase "busted like a hot dog w/out mustard"
She introduced me to House Wives of NJ
She didn't make fun of me for liking the Jonas Brothers or Twilight when i confessed it to her. She then admitted she loved them also.
She saw Kelly Clarkson with me.
She saw Shooter Jennings with me, and was almost crushed by a drunk guy
She called me from a swim meet when she knew i was on a business trip and going to see a crush. She text me during the time i was with said crush to make sure i was ok.
She taught me everything i know about USA swimming
She made me a Carolina basketball fan
She makes me laugh to the point that i cry or pee my pants
She can turn any situation into a Friends reference
and she laughs at "you'r pesto is the best-o)
She married a guy that would become one of my other best friends
She is the mother of the most amazing baby in the world, who also happens to be the guy in my life

HAPPY 30th 28th Birthday SHAYNAH!
I am so grateful for you.

you're the Jay-Z to my Kanye, the Rachel to my Monica, the Oprah to my Gayle, the Ben Affleck to my Matt on and so on

I love you!

too old for this shhhhh

have you ever been so tired you have an eye twitch?
i have one right now. it's driving me up the wall. each time it twitches, i want to crush something. my poor water bottle has been taking the punishment for my twitchy eye. sorry water bottle. it's not your fault.

this weekend was amazing. busy as crap, but amazing.
first off, this is Josie and she is my friend for the week.

sweet girl. she looks like a stuffed animal

we're cruisin' for dudes

Saturday was a happy day. A few girls and i threw a birthday party for our lovely Kristie. Since Kristie gets super excited about little things, we didn't think she could handle the overload of knowing everything that was going to happen. So all she knew was when and where to show up. We took care of the rest.

it looked waaaay better once it got dark
We all pitched in to buy Kristie an iphone (giftcard). this picture was a little after we gave it to her. you can spot her sitting at the end of the table still grinning ear to ear
moments before we all jumped inot hte pool for the rest of the night