Friday, June 29, 2012

is she a pilot?

i have no place doing a tribute post to Nora Ephron here. I am not a screen writer. Or a writer at all. I can only name 4 of her movies.  If i had passed her on a crowded street, i'd have no idea.
but man i love her movies.
and i think some of the lines she wrote were some of the best in the history of film.
here are a few of my favorite

from You've Got Mail:
Tom Hanks- "I could never be with someone who likes Joni Mitchell. 'It's clouds illusions I recall/I really don't know clouds at all.' What does that mean? Is she a pilot? Is she taking flying lessons? It must be a metaphor for something but I don't know what it is"

also from You've Got Mail:
(ashley and i quoted this yesterday)

Tom: "Don't cry, Shopgirl. Don't cry."

Meg: "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."

Also delivered by Tom Hanks, but from Sleepless in Seattle, when he is telling the radio show host about his (now dead) wife.:
"Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they just meant we were supposed to be together. And I knew it. And I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like ... magic."


and my ALL TIME FAVORITE. Man, i love this movie.
This is Billy Crystal's big speech at the end of When Harry Met Sally


"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."


i really hate you harry. i hate you.

hah.
no one can write them like Nora. She will be missed.



Thursday, June 28, 2012

i dare you not to cry

there are a few go-to's to get my to instantly cry

1) if you ask me to describe the last scene of Homeward Bound. I am done for. I start to tear up pretty quickly. Watching it does the trick too. Right when Peter says "he was too old. It was too far"... ooooh man.



2) this video. Holy moly.



3) listening to Fantine's death from Les Mis.



4) if i think about ever meeting Dolly Parton. I honestly tear up.


so if we are ever in a public setting, and you want to see me tear up or bawl like a baby (it's a crap shoot on which one you will get) try one of those.

Friday, June 22, 2012

luv is a verb

my family is in Mexico this week to serve at Rancho 3M.
they asked me to stay at the house with their crazy dog, George.
i haven't slept in that house since... 2004?
we moved there in 1993. so it's home.
but being there has transported me back to the 90s.
i've been posting pictures on instagram (ksands) of little details that are making me nostalgic.
it's been fun

mom and step-dad's wedding day. our first family photo
me kickin' it with mom's bike
view from the front door. i miss that view
our first house project. handprints in the hallway.

but suddenly I am in highschool again.
i woke up this morning, got ready in my old bathroom, listened to some of my favorite 90's music on the ride to work, got to work and passed a mirror. at that point i realized i had unknowingly reverted to my hairstyle of choice in my late teens. i hadn't done my hair like this in probably 10-13 years.
guys...17 year old Kendra has possessed my body. be scared. i don't know what will be next. i might find my overalls. and Adidas sandals. i might start wearing shimmery-frosty-blue eyeshadow, wear cucumber-melon body spray and over tweeze my eyebrows. i suddenly want to watch Friends.

my hair isn't really green like that. or yellow on top. just weird lighting. i swear. for serious.
though i have no excuse or explanation for my face in this.



Anyway, as a result of being 17 again, i am listening to a lot of DC Talk today.
here is a personal favorite for your listening enjoyment (Kevin had the same haircut as my 7th grade Science teacher, Ms. Johnson)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

best groupon ever

i love groupon.
i've used it tons of times. so great
today, i got the most hilarious groupon offer ever.



"rock n roll is supposed to be raw. It's supposed to be lusty. It's supposed to make you want todrive fast, party hard and pine for girls you know..."
and NICKLEBACK is the ANSWER!!!!
BAHAHAHAHAH

Monday, June 18, 2012

concert bucket list cont

do you know who this is?

that is Morrissey.
he was the lead singer of The Smiths.
aaaannnnd i love him.
this is what he looks like now

he doesn't come to the US. Unless it's LA. He just hangs around the Europe. why? because he doesn't care about my happiness.
He also recently announced he would be retiring soon. that's just plain selfish.
that is why he is at the top of my concert bucket list. because i knew it would never happen.
Seriously, this is him back in Dec. He is still SOOOO good



but guys! guys...guys... wait. i have to tell you something.
i know you can't see where this story is going. You aren't jumping ahead. you haven't thought "wow, the only time Kendra spends this much time building up is if something good is happening"
so let me help you out.
Today....i saw this.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
yea. that is right. He is coming to the Strathmore.
Now, there are 2 teeeeeeny tiny issues
1) the Strathmore 7.5 hours away
2) tickets are probably going to be all of the dollars i own.

BUT WAIT
ANSWERS:
1) i like going up there. I don't mind going again. NBD
2) Tickets AREN'T all of the dollars i own! They are surprisingly reasonable.

SO, IN CONCLUSION
I MIGHT BE SEEING MORRISSEY LIVE. WITH MY OWN REAL LIFE EYEBALLS.
and, i will be like this girl:


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

hey

these are from a site i just found
some of you might not get some of the references, or might not find them funny. but i think they are awesome







and my absolute favorite



Friday, June 1, 2012

hots for valjean

i love Les Miserable. We've established that.
I can cry at every song.
And I am pee-my-pants excited about the movie.
I am ashamed to say how many times i watched the trailer when it came out
(more than once, less than twenty-five)


I love the cast. i love Anne Hathaway singing "I dreamed a dream". I think Russel Crowe will be an incredible Javert! And I think Hugh Jackman is a crazy good actor.

BUT
there is an issue.

Here is how I picture Jean ValJean (based on every performance I have ever seen)


Wise. Fatherly. Noble. He would protect me.

Not this


I don't think i am supposed to want to make out with Jean ValJean.
I mean, come on. Hugh Jackman? They even tried to uglify him. Not working


I am very tempted to email Victor Hugo (though he is dead) and say
"hey, i've got a great idea! Lets add a character to Les Mis. How about a sassy American, like...30 years old. And she marries Val Jean about the time Act 2 starts. And as Cozette is running around, falling in love...Mr and Mrs Val Jean make out a lot. Cool?"

AND... (wait for it)... lets name her Kendra.
Boom.
then Schonberg would have to write a bunch more songs of Hugh...er...Jean professing his love for his adorable American wife.
I smell more Tonys.

so...now i have a crush on Jean Val Jean.

also, i've watched this far more times than I would like to admit...today.

\
and i only watch it for the fact that it's Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. that is all.

Happy Friday!

beast

so
last night i was out with some friends. we were at an outdoor concert in this cool little area with restaurants, shops, greenways... you get the idea.
So, we grabbed some food. I was sitting at a table and all of a sudden our friend Charlie runs in and says "Kendra... Jon Beason is outside."

what?
WHAT
WHAAATTT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

pause.

For those of you who don't know, Jon Beason #52, is a linebacker for the Carolina Panthers.
If I had to list my favorite players, which i can't really do, he would be in my top 5. Probably in my top 3 on some days. I really love him a lot.

un-pause.

So there I am, lurking in the corner of Hickory Tavern, looking through the window taking pictures of Jon Beason chatting with the fans. Too chicken to just march out there.
Finally, enough was enough. I needed to meet Beast (that is his nickname).
I took a gulp of liquid courage (dos equis) grabbed Charlie's arm and said "we are going to talk to him"

Here is the thing. I am the opposite of cool when it comes to the Panther's. I have met other famous people and been ok. But when it comes to my boys, other than when Julius Peppers was on there and we were BFFs, i become an idiot. There are so many stories of me not being cool with them. The time DeAngelo Williams was in our studio and draped his arm around my neck while i was talking to someone. I didn't even make eye contact. I couldn't. I literally ignored him. The time i ran up to Mike Minter and kind of danced around from foot to foot until he took pity on me and spoke to me. And the worst, the absolute worst... when I met Steve Smith. I can't even type that. If you ever see me in person, ask me about the time i met 89. It is a pitiful tale. Like, he even shook his head. It was that bad.

but back to last night. We got outside along with another friend, Steve. We are standing near him. I have zoned out, trying not to be an babbling fool. I am focusing on everything else. To the point where I almost went back inside to grab my beer. I started to forget why we were standing out there. But before i could, i heard Charlie talking to someone, and out of the corner of my eye i see a very large hand extended to me. I look up and there is Beast. "Hi. I'm Jon". yes you are. Yes. you sure are. I was able to introduce myself, though my voice was about 3 octaves higher than normal. I don't have a high voice to begin with, so it might have almost sounded normal.
now, at this point, i wasn't going to play around with pleasantries. No way. we had some business to discuss. Beason had been injured last season. And we had needed him bad. So i wasn't playing around. I needed the facts. So while our hands were still shaking i got up my nerves and asked
"Ok. So how are you feeling? Where are you at? I heard 80% a few weeks ago? Still there?"
He blinked a few times. Then smiled and said "100%." I fist pumped and said "YESSS!" He then said "100%...today". Mid "YES" and fist pump, i dropped my arm and said "WHAT? Nooooo. You can't take it back. I need 100% Beast! I need you to be at 100%!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh hey, Jon Beason... you wanted a nice relaxing night, drinking beer and listening to music? Yea? Nope. Not happening. Sorry. Crazy white girl here wants you to know that SHE needs you to play at 100%. Forget your coaches, team mates, your entire fan base or career plans. Nope. SHE needs it. Sometimes I am pretty sure they have a picture of me in the locker room that says "run from this girl. She is cray".

Thankfully, Beast is a kind soul. He winked and said "today 100%. But tomorrow... probably 105%!"
Again, being cool and awesome and calm, I began to jump up and down. He then talked about how much he had missed playing, how he can't wait till September, to which I scoffed and said "um... YOU can't wait? I can't wait" WHAT? Sands... NO! STOP IT.
Eventually we walked away from him. I didn't say bye. That is another thing i do. When it all becomes to much, talking to one of my boys, I flee. At that point, Charlie remembered that we hadn't introduced Steve, who was looming behind me. We went back in side (well, I skipped and clapped) told everyone else about our magical encounter. Then Steve came in and told us that no matter what i  did, he did far far worse. His opening line was to tell Beason that a fellow player's parents lived next door to him. Awesome. I wasn't the worst fan Beason spoke to. PROGRESS!

I immediately text my stalker pictures to all my other fan friends
I shall share them with you now.

his arm was bigger than my head.
  ZOOOOOOOOM IN

oh instagram. you failed me this time.
 most of the replies were "WHERE ARE YOU?" and questions. But the best one, that summed up the entire experience was from my friend Butner, who has witnessed me meeting different Panthers. His reply was "LOL I can see your face now! I bet you were the worst!"
I wasn't the worst, Butner. Hah! NOT this time!